like i have said before our little guy is growing. up to 16 pounds now. he is going to be six months here before long. it is so inspiring to watch him grow. i have been real busy with job searching. as of today i have 106 applications out floating around. i think that's a lot. i had one interview for a good company, but i was not qualified enough. i had actually had a job for a couple days. i was trying to sell a credit card machine to local companies. but around were i live that was imposable, meaning they were good with what they had. the product was a good deal, and made sense to buy, but it was too expensive. i got payed on commission. so if i did not sell any i did not get paid....that's why i don't work with them anymore. i need a job that i can get paid. made sense. so now i am out looking again.
i am trying to find a job that is the right fit for me. i know what i want to do for a career but i have to wait for the timing to be right. so i am trying for a job around Dover area. that way i can be closer to the church. so the job thing is getting pretty slim with that many app. out. but i am still working hard.
i am praying that God will lead me in a place that i can make a difference, use my skills and passions. i am learning that patients is key. waiting is something that i have learned. waiting on the right time and the right place is frustrating and stressful, but i just have to keep praying and trying my best to find my place.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
looking up
well things are going good. Micah is up to 14 lbs. and 25 inches long. ya! getting to be more active. and always laughing. we started to give him rice cereal, and i don't think he likes it much. but he is taking it very good.
i got a chance to attend this past weeks service at new point. and let me tell you that it was a great and powerful message. you can see last weeks at the link. i love how Dwight describes the family and the Church. it will get your attention!! now being stuck is something that i have been for a long time. i had been sitting around for two years and waiting for my back to get better. now the first year i just sat around. stayed at home, and did nothing. i seen my docs every month and just kept getting pills. over time i had developed a addiction to these pills. over time of taking them i had a tolerance with them. i started to take Oxycontin. now if you don't know what that is it is a pill that cancer patients will take to cover there pain. its 10 times as strong of liquid morphine. strong stuff. they even give it to crack cocaine addicts as a "safer" drug. i was on that for about six months. my pain was just unbearable. i had formed an environment in my life that its all about the drugs. i did not care about much. my wife said that i was in a cloud or daze all the time.
after i had realized what i was doing i said to myself i needed to change. and i started to attend church. i had changed my life. got baptized and accepted Jesus into my life. now after i had stop ed what i was doing the lord has put a desire into my heart. He had put the want to teach kids into my heart. i started to help in the kids area and i loved it. but i wanted more. i wanted to put everything i could into the church. i was there everyday. i wanted to learn, to get knowledge, and wisdom from all who work there. i was there for a while and i had learned i lot. but i was my heart was not satisfied. i needed even more. i looked into New Pionte and i love the way it is ran. and i agree with everything that they do. family ran! now i want to get involved there, and try to put myself into the church, as much as i can.
you see this weekend i got hit in the heart. how my old life is not how i want to raise my family. i need to have the word of God raise me, my wife ,and my kids! i have to be honest and confront what is holding me back. yeah i do fall down sometimes and go back to what i use to do. but i look for someone to talk to about what i am going through.God has taken me from being a drug to being a family. and now i just need to man up and look to Him. its easy to say bit hard to do.
i got a chance to attend this past weeks service at new point. and let me tell you that it was a great and powerful message. you can see last weeks at the link. i love how Dwight describes the family and the Church. it will get your attention!! now being stuck is something that i have been for a long time. i had been sitting around for two years and waiting for my back to get better. now the first year i just sat around. stayed at home, and did nothing. i seen my docs every month and just kept getting pills. over time i had developed a addiction to these pills. over time of taking them i had a tolerance with them. i started to take Oxycontin. now if you don't know what that is it is a pill that cancer patients will take to cover there pain. its 10 times as strong of liquid morphine. strong stuff. they even give it to crack cocaine addicts as a "safer" drug. i was on that for about six months. my pain was just unbearable. i had formed an environment in my life that its all about the drugs. i did not care about much. my wife said that i was in a cloud or daze all the time.
after i had realized what i was doing i said to myself i needed to change. and i started to attend church. i had changed my life. got baptized and accepted Jesus into my life. now after i had stop ed what i was doing the lord has put a desire into my heart. He had put the want to teach kids into my heart. i started to help in the kids area and i loved it. but i wanted more. i wanted to put everything i could into the church. i was there everyday. i wanted to learn, to get knowledge, and wisdom from all who work there. i was there for a while and i had learned i lot. but i was my heart was not satisfied. i needed even more. i looked into New Pionte and i love the way it is ran. and i agree with everything that they do. family ran! now i want to get involved there, and try to put myself into the church, as much as i can.
you see this weekend i got hit in the heart. how my old life is not how i want to raise my family. i need to have the word of God raise me, my wife ,and my kids! i have to be honest and confront what is holding me back. yeah i do fall down sometimes and go back to what i use to do. but i look for someone to talk to about what i am going through.God has taken me from being a drug to being a family. and now i just need to man up and look to Him. its easy to say bit hard to do.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
three genorations....great time.
Great grandma came to visit today. she is very happy to hold Micah. and he was very happy to see her. full of laughs and giggles. he is getting to be a very happy baby. make my day every time i see him smile.
when grandma was feeding him he was so good. the thing with having six kids you learn a lot. i was watching her and she knew exactly when to burp him and what he wanted. i guess that is experience in taking care of baby's. i really enjoyed see them together. you see i never knew my grandma. the first time i had seen her was at my wedding. to see her i can really see where my dad gets his looks. not saying he looks bad, i can just see it. getting to know her this past year has been amazing. never knowing her and seeing how much we have in common is overwhelming. from yard work, landscaping, to the Indian collectibles.
we have talked about the past and present. i learned that Indian is in us. and that our family has a lot of tradition. its kind of weired to be learning about all of this now. but its still amazing to have a connection with someone you never knew.
i just hope that Micah will be able to grow up with his great grandma and learn more about the family history. i am going to do my best to get them together and enjoy learning more about our family.
Monday, August 17, 2009
working hard!
well, things have been going great. i am in my 2 week of work conditioning, and all i can say is wow. i have been pushing real hard to get back to work. it has been sense Feb. that i worked at a job. many of you know that i got hurt fighting my very first fire as a certified firefighter. and the let down knowing that i will never return to that job was huge! i love fire. and i always wanted to be a firefighter when i was growing up but, when i got hurt i was in bad shape. mostly because my walk with God...well i was at a stand still. i did not have much of a relationship with Him. it took two years to find Him. after i accepted Christ i found a new meaning to life. a new passion. all over a new person. i had gotten off of my anti-depressants and quite taking my pain killers. i was giving it all to God. putting him in control of my life. knowing that he can heal me.
well He had a plan for me, not just to heal me on the spot but for me to go to him every time i hurt. and he would show me the right way. He had lead me to new doctors and new treatment that i questioned. but did anyway. some hurt worse and some made me feel great. well now i am going through a therapy system that will put myself back into a working environment. i have been pushing myself so had that at the end of my session i feel great. i will always have pain but He will be in control of it.
every time i step into the gym i have new goals. whether it would be going 3 miles on a rowing machine or running a mile i have goals. why i do it. its because it gives me something to reach for. and to push hard to get. goals are important. plus when you reach them you feel great. i have a goal in life now and that is to learn as much as i can about children ministry. not only that but to be a children pastor. plus many more. but those goals i am reaching hard to get, but with God in control i know he will not lead me wrong.
well He had a plan for me, not just to heal me on the spot but for me to go to him every time i hurt. and he would show me the right way. He had lead me to new doctors and new treatment that i questioned. but did anyway. some hurt worse and some made me feel great. well now i am going through a therapy system that will put myself back into a working environment. i have been pushing myself so had that at the end of my session i feel great. i will always have pain but He will be in control of it.
every time i step into the gym i have new goals. whether it would be going 3 miles on a rowing machine or running a mile i have goals. why i do it. its because it gives me something to reach for. and to push hard to get. goals are important. plus when you reach them you feel great. i have a goal in life now and that is to learn as much as i can about children ministry. not only that but to be a children pastor. plus many more. but those goals i am reaching hard to get, but with God in control i know he will not lead me wrong.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
getting there
well it has been a long road for me and my back pain. had lots of procedures tried on me and went through a lot of different types of treatment. but i think i have finally made it! i have been going through physical therapy for about 5 weeks now and i can see i difference in how i can move and well be pain free. i do have to try to remember to stretch in the morning but overall i feel pretty good. its been a long time coming!
i have a back to work program that is going to be intense, but i know if i can get through it i can get a clear call from my doctor about returning back to work. it has been Feb. of 07 sense i have worked any type of job. for me it seemed like forever. because i am the type of person that needs to move. needs to keep busy. so if you see me at the church racing around that is why. i noticed i only feel good and work good when i am being in a fast place environment. i have worked in several different jobs. law enforcement to factory. wrecker operator to a corian fabricator to a firefighter. not in that order and some all at the same time. but they all were fast paced places. i loved doing all these jobs but with the injury i was unable to keep them.
i have a new job in mind and i know that this job is for me. with my limitations still lurking around being in children ministry is going to be great. it can be so hard on Sunday that i end up napping as soon as i get home. it may not seem like a great job, but i dig it.!
with me exercising and getting some more treatments along the side like epidural shots, and a back rub. i believe that the work force will not be far ahead. i am pushing hard and working hard to get to my goal. this way when baby Micah is older i know that i will be able to pick him up and not worry about my back hurting later on. it is so amazing to see God not heal me, but point me to were i need to go. to show me, myself that it is goals and time that will get me better. not a magical drug, or surgery it is getting to know God, and finding yourself that will get you were you need to be. and i firmly believe that is what He is doing to me!
i have a back to work program that is going to be intense, but i know if i can get through it i can get a clear call from my doctor about returning back to work. it has been Feb. of 07 sense i have worked any type of job. for me it seemed like forever. because i am the type of person that needs to move. needs to keep busy. so if you see me at the church racing around that is why. i noticed i only feel good and work good when i am being in a fast place environment. i have worked in several different jobs. law enforcement to factory. wrecker operator to a corian fabricator to a firefighter. not in that order and some all at the same time. but they all were fast paced places. i loved doing all these jobs but with the injury i was unable to keep them.
i have a new job in mind and i know that this job is for me. with my limitations still lurking around being in children ministry is going to be great. it can be so hard on Sunday that i end up napping as soon as i get home. it may not seem like a great job, but i dig it.!
with me exercising and getting some more treatments along the side like epidural shots, and a back rub. i believe that the work force will not be far ahead. i am pushing hard and working hard to get to my goal. this way when baby Micah is older i know that i will be able to pick him up and not worry about my back hurting later on. it is so amazing to see God not heal me, but point me to were i need to go. to show me, myself that it is goals and time that will get me better. not a magical drug, or surgery it is getting to know God, and finding yourself that will get you were you need to be. and i firmly believe that is what He is doing to me!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Hope and dreams
well what can i say. our baby is 9 pounds and heavy as can be. but that's a good thing. things have been a little crazy around here with Micah. he is starting to get a schedule down and seems to be getting over his cold. he is 6 weeks now and growing!! so things are good over all.
hope and dreams..do you have any.? has any of your dreams been put on hold, or just will not come true no matter how you try to work it. this is what i am going through right now. and its not my fault. yay for that one.
i have been going though physical therapy for my back and been really pushing myself to get back to a working state. it has been real tough but i am pushing it. i know that i am going to get through this but man is it hard..! i have a chance to get into a working program that will help me even more, so that's a good thing. sense my injury i have been laid up and not able to do much. with our baby i know that i have to get back to work some how. just so i can provide a little more income for us, and maybe move out of my parents house!!! so during all these procedures i have been through it seem like there is nothing that will get me there..so i have to find a job that i can do in this state. my hope of getting better has been crashed several times. so it is hard for me to want to get out and find a job. but our Little guy needs me. and i know that i need to do something.
i have a chance to get into a position of leadership. yeah i am scared but i know that it is not one of my weaknesses. i know this job! there are a lot of possibility's were i am going and i just keep praying that it could lead into a full time job. i am not worried about it because i know that they will train me up to the fullest. and give me a chance to reach a dream. i have a lot of things to get done before, but i know that if this is were God wants me He will look after me during it all.
i just keep praying that it will work out and maybe someday we will have a place to call our home and be able to raise Micah up the way that God intended. and for me to get a job. that right now is hope and dream right now.
hope and dreams..do you have any.? has any of your dreams been put on hold, or just will not come true no matter how you try to work it. this is what i am going through right now. and its not my fault. yay for that one.
i have been going though physical therapy for my back and been really pushing myself to get back to a working state. it has been real tough but i am pushing it. i know that i am going to get through this but man is it hard..! i have a chance to get into a working program that will help me even more, so that's a good thing. sense my injury i have been laid up and not able to do much. with our baby i know that i have to get back to work some how. just so i can provide a little more income for us, and maybe move out of my parents house!!! so during all these procedures i have been through it seem like there is nothing that will get me there..so i have to find a job that i can do in this state. my hope of getting better has been crashed several times. so it is hard for me to want to get out and find a job. but our Little guy needs me. and i know that i need to do something.
i have a chance to get into a position of leadership. yeah i am scared but i know that it is not one of my weaknesses. i know this job! there are a lot of possibility's were i am going and i just keep praying that it could lead into a full time job. i am not worried about it because i know that they will train me up to the fullest. and give me a chance to reach a dream. i have a lot of things to get done before, but i know that if this is were God wants me He will look after me during it all.
i just keep praying that it will work out and maybe someday we will have a place to call our home and be able to raise Micah up the way that God intended. and for me to get a job. that right now is hope and dream right now.
Friday, July 10, 2009
new blog
got a new blog up. i think that that this one will be better one i get it all up and running. with my baby i am finding a hard to do everything and keep up with it. but i can not complain. our little boy surely is growing. i just can not wait till i get to throw a ball with him, or take him hunting. and the best raising him up in Gods kingdom!
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