working hard!

well, things have been going great. i am in my 2 week of work conditioning, and all i can say is wow. i have been pushing real hard to get back to work. it has been sense Feb. that i worked at a job. many of you know that i got hurt fighting my very first fire as a certified firefighter. and the let down knowing that i will never return to that job was huge! i love fire. and i always wanted to be a firefighter when i was growing up but, when i got hurt i was in bad shape. mostly because my walk with God...well i was at a stand still. i did not have much of a relationship with Him. it took two years to find Him. after i accepted Christ i found a new meaning to life. a new passion. all over a new person. i had gotten off of my anti-depressants and quite taking my pain killers. i was giving it all to God. putting him in control of my life. knowing that he can heal me.
well He had a plan for me, not just to heal me on the spot but for me to go to him every time i hurt. and he would show me the right way. He had lead me to new doctors and new treatment that i questioned. but did anyway. some hurt worse and some made me feel great. well now i am going through a therapy system that will put myself back into a working environment. i have been pushing myself so had that at the end of my session i feel great. i will always have pain but He will be in control of it.
every time i step into the gym i have new goals. whether it would be going 3 miles on a rowing machine or running a mile i have goals. why i do it. its because it gives me something to reach for. and to push hard to get. goals are important. plus when you reach them you feel great. i have a goal in life now and that is to learn as much as i can about children ministry. not only that but to be a children pastor. plus many more. but those goals i am reaching hard to get, but with God in control i know he will not lead me wrong.

getting there

well it has been a long road for me and my back pain. had lots of procedures tried on me and went through a lot of different types of treatment. but i think i have finally made it! i have been going through physical therapy for about 5 weeks now and i can see i difference in how i can move and well be pain free. i do have to try to remember to stretch in the morning but overall i feel pretty good. its been a long time coming!
i have a back to work program that is going to be intense, but i know if i can get through it i can get a clear call from my doctor about returning back to work. it has been Feb. of 07 sense i have worked any type of job. for me it seemed like forever. because i am the type of person that needs to move. needs to keep busy. so if you see me at the church racing around that is why. i noticed i only feel good and work good when i am being in a fast place environment. i have worked in several different jobs. law enforcement to factory. wrecker operator to a corian fabricator to a firefighter. not in that order and some all at the same time. but they all were fast paced places. i loved doing all these jobs but with the injury i was unable to keep them.
i have a new job in mind and i know that this job is for me. with my limitations still lurking around being in children ministry is going to be great. it can be so hard on Sunday that i end up napping as soon as i get home. it may not seem like a great job, but i dig it.!
with me exercising and getting some more treatments along the side like epidural shots, and a back rub. i believe that the work force will not be far ahead. i am pushing hard and working hard to get to my goal. this way when baby Micah is older i know that i will be able to pick him up and not worry about my back hurting later on. it is so amazing to see God not heal me, but point me to were i need to go. to show me, myself that it is goals and time that will get me better. not a magical drug, or surgery it is getting to know God, and finding yourself that will get you were you need to be. and i firmly believe that is what He is doing to me!